Since I am a “worrier” by nature and DO NOT need anything to add to the fake worse case scenarios I can already create instantaneously in my mind, I have decided to spend my free time doing things that bring me rest and laughter, (or at the very least bore me to sleep), and a Hallmark movie checks all these boxes. So, in a way, Hallmark movies are sort of a lifestyle choice. Here’s how I came to this conclusion;

 

#1) My Free Time: I have a lot going on in my life, and my free time has value. So at some point I needed to rethink the two hours I spent watching that horror movie last week when all I had to show for it was insomnia and what may have been a panic attack. So I asked myself this question…was I a thrill-seeking 13-year-old? No, I was not.

 

#2) Crying is not Relaxing: I have never understood the point of sitting through a dramatic movie that is going to whip up my emotions or make me cry six times. I have kids, a husband, and a job, so I am getting quite enough drama in my life free of charge as it is. All I am saying is, “mildly entertaining” has its uses.

 

#3) LOL - I am not an authority on the science of laughter but, since we are talking about free time I have decided that laughter is a great choice to fill it with.  After all, no one ever says, “Wow remember that really funny moment where we all laughed hysterically? That was terrible.”

 

Question: So how does a Hallmark romance make us laugh?

 

Answer: By churning out lots of cookie cutter movies really, really fast and as we all know, doing anything really, really fast almost never produces something really, really good. However, this method can produce a very watchable level of absurdity which I will certainly highlight in my reviews.

 

So this is what I call the Hallmark lifestyle – it’s not about simply watching Hallmarks. It is about what you choose to do with your free time and whether that is, or is not, in your best interest. When I sit down in front of any Hallmark romance, I never have to worry about any traumatic surprises like someone dying suddenly, (thankfully the dead relative or spouse is always dead way before the movie starts), or someone getting terminally ill or really any high drama of any sort. Even if we move into their “Movies and Mysteries” genre where people do actually get murdered they film it in such a bland, lukewarm way that I often use these movies to fall asleep to…you know…like a lullaby.

The Hallmark Lifestyle

Meet The Writer

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Alicia Montell

Why do I write these reviews? Well, first and foremost watching Hallmarks is a way I get to spend time with whichever of my grown-up daughters happens to be around. I have three daughters; ages 27, 26 and 21 and since everyone has a pretty decent sense of humor, we can multiply the entertainment value of a Hallmark movie by a factor of 10. Anyway, I figured I might as well share some of our funnier ideas with you guys and if they make you laugh, then I have succeeded, Hope you enjoy them and I will keep on posting reviews as I finish them.

Henchmen

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Annelise Montell

Hi my name is Annelise Montell and I have genuine addiction to watching these Hallmark movies. I honestly have no shame. I probably grow old watching Hallmark movies.

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Sam Montell

I can't really say I enjoy these movies, but I can say I find that I can express myself in a very humorous way when watching them. I am also the creator of this entire website because every type of technology my mother touches ends up dying.

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Eric Montell

Let's be clear: my comments are giving in the rare 5 minute period I decide I want a shoulder rub from my wife and she happens to have a Hallmark movie on.